The Threaten'd Cloud Has Pass'd Away
by MistressSara
Summary: Edith is overwhelmed by the New Years Eve party at Downton and ventures out into the snow to find solace... She finds something else entirely.


Edith hated New Years Eve. She always had. It was never the new beginning that everyone promised. It should have been, she should have been celebrating it with Michael and their child… actually, in a perfect world she should have been celebrating with Anthony. But then, she had long since accepted the fact that her world was far from perfect. Her little girl had been perfect, the brief moment she was allowed to hold the small, wailing bundle. Her child was perfect and hopefully bound to have a much better life than Edith had had thus far.

True, she had been born into a family of advantage. She never wanted for anything material, never worried about where the next meal would come from or if there would be a roof over her head. But most of her time was spent alone, desperate for affection. Desperate to the point that she was willing to accept the attentions of a married man. Could anyone truly blame her? After being jilted and rejected so publicly, after years of being ignored by her parents. Who could possibly want the love of the loveless? What could she possibly know about love? She knew what she felt, but that apparently wasn't enough. It wasn't enough for her family, Michael, or even Anthony. She always thought it would have been enough for Anthony, someone who was equally starved for affection.

There was a party held at Downton to mark the occasion. It was like so many years before but at the same time so horribly different. Sybil's smiling face was painfully absent. Though they could see glimmers of the youngest sister in the face of her daughter. Mary was surrounded by suitors, so natural that she should still be sought after. The eldest Crawley child would never want for attention, which would forever be the defining difference between Mary and Edith. The latter knew what it was to want something in vain, the former would never know the feeling.

Her parents were smiling happily at one another, still so very much in love. The whole picture seemed to mock Edith, throw in her face what she wanted more than anything and was destined not to have. Then there were her American relatives, seated off to the side with Granny, carrying on so easily. The whole evening was terribly overwhelming, it was becoming a bit too much to take. With a great ease Edith made her way to the coat closet, pulling out a thick wool jacket of dark red. The fur around the high collar promised to keep her warm as she ventured out into the falling snow. The weather only managed to grow worse with each passing day, adding to Edith's low mood. Normally she loved the winter, but it only felt like a source of annoyance lately. The wall of snow served as another barrier keeping her in Downton.

It felt good to be outside, away from everyone at long last. The house was crowded lately, at least that's how it felt to Edith. There were people in every corner, asking her questions about her journey to Switzerland with Rosamund, about that Michael fellow who seemed to nice. It was all irritating, cruel without anyone being aware of why the questions pained her so. Perhaps it would be for the best if she simply disappeared into the snow and wasn't seen again?

Edith had always been a very good walker. She managed to find her way off of the property rather quickly, walking along aimlessly in the snow, not caring about her wet shoes and stockings. Coldness was slowly starting to seep through the bottom of her coat as she reached deeper patches of cumulated flakes. She really couldn't be brought to care. Most of the time she felt numb anyway. It wasn't until she reached the dirt road that she realized where she was…

Her pace slowed as she looked up at the grey stone structure. So much happiness was promised to her that day. She stood where his car had been waiting to whisk them away. The vast majority of the time she could understand why Anthony did what he had done, leaving her like that. He was always so noble, so blasted determined to do what everyone else considered appropriate rather than listening to his heart. There was no doubt in her mind that if he had just ignored all of the outside voices they would be married now, with a little one enjoying Christmas time. If she closed her eyes she could see a beautiful little girl with Anthony's blonde hair but her curls, running around excitedly asking when Father Christmas was due to arrive. She would be enchanted with the magic of the season, staring happily out of the library windows at the snow, begging to go outside and play. Edith would show her how to make snow angels. It would have been so lovely.

This was how Anthony found her, soaked through and seated on the stone bench outside of the church.

"Stewart… Stewart, pull over." He said the moment his eyes found her. Which was an easy task considering how starkly her red coat stood out when surrounded by white ground and inky black sky.

He climbed quickly from the back seat, hurrying across the lawn until he was close enough to see that she was shaking.

"Edith?" He ventured carefully.

"I can hear you now, so clearly I've gone insane." She laughed to herself.

"Edith, I'm here." He moved closer, resting his good hand on her shoulder.

"Anthony, what are you doing out?" She asked, her teeth chattering together as her eyes fluttered open to look up at him.

"I was just heading home, my train was late coming in." He explained.

"Home, what a lovely concept."

"Edith, allow me take you back to Downton? You're frozen through."

"Anywhere but there. Please?"

"If you… that is, if you don't mind, would you like to go to Locksley?"

"Yes, I would like that immensely."

With a nod he helped her up and led her back to the waiting car. With the direction to hurry up, Stewart began to drive again as Anthony wrapped a blanket around Edith's shoulders. When they pulled to a stop at the grayish house Edith felt a surge of warmth in her chest, this was what coming home felt like. She was ushered into the house, only to find herself standing in the entryway with Anthony who seemed to be at a loss of what to do.

"We should get you into something warm." He finally said.

"Yes." She nodded simply.

"I don't have any women's clothes about…"

"Thank goodness." Edith offered a weak laugh.

"Perhaps a pair of pajamas?" He led her upstairs to his bedroom where she waited while he disappeared into the closet. Edith slowly took a lap around the room. She eyed the bed with a small smile, imagining what Anthony might look like with his hair mussed from sleep. There was a small bookshelf, favorites that he liked to have on hand. Some cozier furniture that appeared a bit more worn than what was downstairs. It was decidedly very _Anthony_. She wanted nothing more than to curl up in front of the fire with him and dwell in the room for as long as possible.

"You should sit." He suggested when he returned to the room.

"I didn't want to get anything wet."

"Ah. Uh, here you go. If you'd like to change in here you may. I'll fetch a pot of tea… and we should let your parents know where you are."

"They won't notice I've gone. There's a party tonight." She explained pulling her coat off and revealing the dress she had selected. The shade of red matched the already removed garment. Her dress was long and made of a soft satin, while the top was made of velvet, with long sleeves and a scooping neckline that displayed her shoulders and collarbone nicely. The waist was cinched tightly, no one would ever know about what she had done in Switzerland. Well, almost no one…

"Something's different." Anthony observed before he could stop himself.

"Many things are different."

"You look beautiful."

"That's certainly different."

"You always look beautiful, Edith."

"Well…" She nodded, turning away. She hadn't felt beautiful in ages. Michael made her feel beautiful, desired. Anthony made her feel beautiful and loved.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything. I've made you uncomfortable."

"Not at all. I should just change out of this. It's a bit heavier when wet."

"Right. I'll have some tea brought to the library?"

"Yes, that would be nice."

He hurried out of the room, closing the door behind him, trying desperately not to think of Edith removing her clothes in what would have been their bedroom. That had been a point they discussed before the failed wedding, he was insistent that she have her own space so she could take time away from him if she desired. Maude certainly liked having her own room. But Edith has refused the moment he brought it up, the only way she intended to go to sleep every night was beside him. Instead of her warmth each night Anthony found himself faced with a cold bed.

Stewart returned to the house just as Anthony reached the bottom stair. He made a request for tea before going to the phone. Edith may not have thought it important to let her family know where she was, but he wasn't going to pay heed to that request. Someone would notice her gone and a panic would follow. He waited as Carson grudgingly went in search of Robert.

"Hello?" The voice startled him at first, it wasn't Robert and it didn't sound like Cora.

"Hello?" Anthony replied.

"Sir Anthony, it's Rosamund."

"Ah, hello. Happy New Year."

"Not for another hour or so, but thank you, the same to you. I assume you've found Edith?"

"Yes. She's all right, a bit cold."

"I figured she went for a walk and just lost track of where she was. She does that a lot lately."

"After she's warmed up a bit I'll return her to Downton."

"There's no bother tonight. She should stay put, wouldn't want her to catch cold."

"Are you certain? Perhaps Robert should…"

"Quite certain. I'm afraid no one else has noticed her absence yet and probably won't. It's best that she rest before coming back, it has been a trying year."

"What will you tell people?"

"That she retired early." Rosamund answered simply. "I really think this is best, so long as it's not an inconvenience to you."

"No, no inconvenience."

"Wonderful. I will see you tomorrow." With that Rosamund promptly hung up the phone without another word.

Anthony walked rather blankly to the library, settling into his usual chair and resting one foot on the ottoman as he awaited tea and company. It had been so very long since he had any visitors, not that Edith was technically a visitor, she really didn't have much of a choice. Although she did ask to come there, preferred it to going home. And what was so different about her? He could tell just by looking at her, something was amiss, she was terribly unhappy and noticeably changed.

"Hello." She ventured quietly, appearing in the doorway. His breath caught as he saw her in his pajamas and robe. It was more attractive than any dress would ever look on her. Edith rather enjoyed the clothing as well, it was like having Anthony's arms wrapped around her.

"Hello." He stood and gestured to the sofa. "Please."

"You called Downton, didn't you?"

"How did you know?"

"Because you always do the right thing, even if it's the wrong thing to do."

"Yes." He cleared his throat and retook his seat.

"And?"

"I spoke to your aunt. She suggested you stay put for the evening."

"She was the only one who noticed." It wasn't a question.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. Nothing should ever change."

"But something has."

"Yes. And yet many things have remained the same."

"What has happened, Edith? Your aunt said that it was a difficult year for you."

She didn't know what compelled her to speak, to tell him all of the secrets she had been harboring for the last year or so. But as she stared into his warm, blue eyes everything came out as though a dam had broken.

"I was in love… or infatuated, the latter I suppose when I think about it. It was different from what I feel for you. I loved you, Michael I suppose I was flattered."

"Michael?"

"Gregson, my editor at the newspaper."

"Yes, I read your pieces. Quite the talent." He smiled.

"I'm no longer writing." She paused, biting her lip as she tried to compose herself. "We had an affair. He was married but because she's in a mental asylum he couldn't divorce her."

"Edith…" His tone wasn't judgmental, simply sad.

"He said he wanted to marry, so we indulged in the benefits of a wedded couple. Then he disappeared in Germany. He had a scheme to become a German citizen so that he would be able to divorce. He's been gone for quite a while now, not a single word. Completely disappeared."

"I've got a few connections in Germany still. If you'd like…"

"No. I don't want to see him again." She shook her head. "I had a child."

"What?" Anthony tried to stifle his surprise but struggled greatly.

"When he disappeared I was pregnant already."

"Did he…?"

"No, he couldn't have known. I was going to take care of things."

"No." He sounded truly sorrowful now. With the loss of his own son Anthony was always a bit distressed when it came to the loss of children.

"I didn't. I had her."

"Her? What's her name?"

"I don't know. Aunt Rosamund took me to Switzerland before I really began to show. I gave birth and then she was given to a family willing to adopt."

"Was that what you wanted?"

"None of this is what I wanted." She all but sobbed.

"Everything has been such a mess ever since…"

"It's my fault." He nodded solemnly.

"It isn't, Anthony. It's my own fault, for being so stupid and desperate. You were drowning and I didn't notice. Now I'm drowning and no one cares, providential isn't it?"

"I care."

"But you've gone."

"I thought it was for the best."

"It wasn't enough that you left me behind but you took away your friendship. Anthony, you were my only friend." She finally lost control and began to cry. Stewart appeared at the door with the tray but quickly turned and left the room as Anthony moved to sit beside her. His good arm wrapped around her.

"I'm sorry, Edith. I've regretted what I did every day since. I've missed you."

"I missed you too."

"Perhaps we could… with the New Year and all, we could make a new start of things?" He suggested.

"I would like that. I would like that very much."

At that moment the clock struck twelve, alerting them to the time.

"Happy New Year." Anthony smiled softly.

"Happy New Year." Edith replied, craning her neck just enough to give him a gentle kiss on the lips. "Is this all right?"

"Yes." He answered breathless as he closed the space between them again, deepening the embrace.

It wasn't the night either had expected, but it was certainly a welcome deviation from the promise of another year beginning on a sad note. There was no sadness to be found as Edith curled into Anthony's arms on the sofa as they watched the fire, occasionally exchanging kisses. Nor was there anything to dampen their good moods when they adjourned to Anthony's bedroom, to sleep in the same warm embrace as before. It was a new year for Edith and Anthony and they were determined to make the best of things.


End file.
